residential angel
Name: Shangbel
Age: Supposedly 20(?)
Shangbel is a disillusioned person who thinks she is a she but is not certain. Two of her friends are her mummy and daddy seperately in her crazed world; one is an abusive alcoholic father while the other is a slutmuffin.

She longs for love but is recently being subjected to being slapped by them. Her stepsister feels that their parents are biased towards her and that they love Shangbel more.

This is her story.


undying love
-Kami-sama(:
-Cosplaying
-My Famiglia! <3
-Home
-Manga and anime
-Sweet stuff like Yami-yogurt and donuts
-family
-etc, etc...(lazy to write)


longing for
-love(?) So cliche. Hahaha.
-A new handphone pouch
-Exotic coloured contact lenses
-New costumes
-Complicated costumes
-Good Grades
-A carefree life
-A decisive mind


the whispers


Music Box


blogs
-Haz- Shangbel's mummy
-Sarah- Shangbel's Stepsister
-WanYi- The Empress to my Concubine
-Ning -My beloved guardian
-Geelyn -A good friend
-Min -Forever Friends
-Li sen- The good guy
-Frank
-Feifei -A dearest cousin
-Daniel- A dearest cousin
-Jiale(a.k.a Jade) -A precious friend
-Hannah -She called me the 'dark side'. xD
-Eleanor(a.k.a Elie) -A precious friend

link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link link


history


credits
resources © X X X
XFANTASYWINGSX


Sunday, September 14, 2008
Time to move on...
Song: Innocent Sorrow
Vocals: Abingdon Boys School
Lyrics: Nishikawa Taknori
Composition: Shibasaki Hiroshi
Arrangement:Abingdon Boys School

(English Translation)

PAIN spills and flows from the wound in my torn chest In the dark
And dissolves the thoughts that connect overlapped moments

Having a nightmare in a fever that I can’t wake from, I can’t hear your final voice

Don’t cry, if I embraced you to the point that you seem to break, you’d tremble, Oh…
Show me that you’ll softly touch my raised palms; Never… Until the end

Like the spilling and falling sand, I give a fleeting wish Close to the light
Tears that don’t dry stain your shut face

Prayers pierce deeply through the crevices between my outstretched fingers

Don't cry, How much boundless pain and sorrow was I able to save you from? Oh…
Show me that you’ll touch my raised palms more strongly; Ever and never end
I’ll release, So far away

With wings of engraving life, longing for the next world in which I’ll be reborn

Don’t cry, if I embraced you to the point that you seem to break, you’d tremble, Oh…
Show me that you’ll softly touch my raised palms

Surely, I’ve searched for the unfading miracle named ‘you’
Touch me with stronger palms; Ever and never end

Break down! Right now! Fill me up!
I just U just blow up!
Livin’ it up Pump it up
Inside n’ outsite Freak out!
___________________________________________________________________

I actually wanted to blog about other things. But there's something deep inside of me that threatens to spill over. It's sort of an overflowing emotion...

I...really thought that I had forgotten how to love.

It was painful. I cannot deny it.

I couldn't get out of the hurt I dealt to myself and that person and it repeatedly gave my heart scars over and over again.

It was so hideous. My heart was so hideous. I didn't want anybody to see it.

But now something's really different.

Something's changed.

Maybe it's because of the love people gave me. Maybe it's because of the persistence I saw in him. Maybe it's because of the fact that I understood I was still loved.

Will I get hurt again if I opened my heart?

I don't know...but I think that it's time for me to move on. I can finally feel free from the chains.

I can fly away once again.
___________________________________________________________________

The boy peeked around the sides of the door to the cage that he opened.

"Hey..." He started softly, "Come with me?"

Inside of the cage, bounded by chains, was a little girl. She looked up with a horrified expression and covered her face with her scarred hands. She didn't want to leave. She didn't want anybody to come near her ever again; not after she hurt someone and let someone hurt her.

But he was persistant and he sat by the cage's door, coming back day after day to chat with her. Even when she had shoved him away roughly once.

She was touched. Why...why did he care?

Soon after, many more people appeared. They all sat by the cage and chatted with her, they made her laugh, they made her feel normal again. By time, the scars faded away and she looked as beautiful as she did before.

The boy smiled, "See? I told you that you were beautiful and loved."

She cried.

He offered her a hand, and for the first time in ages...

The girl could finally step out into the light.

1:40 AM
Even if the morrow is barren of promises, Nothing shall forestall my return.